Life Transitions
Life is full of transitions. Transition from college to adulting, getting married, job changes, move to a new city, having kids, loss of a loved one, a breakup/divorce, a significant medical diagnosis. Some transition are by choice like graduating or getting married. Others are unwanted, like an unexpected layoff from a job or breakup with a boyfriend. Whatever the circumstances, navigating the in-between space can be difficult as it presents new challenges, heightened emotions, and demands new responses.
The emotional aspect is just one part of a transition but it can feel like a mountain if you are not expecting the heightened and prolonged emotions. It is typical to experience some depression, anxiety, sadness, grief, stress, guilt, anger and excitement during transitions.
Grief, Sadness, Loss
We tend to have some sadness over the old chapter closing. We miss our old friends, miss the freedom we used to have, miss the routine we had set, miss the way things felt before, miss the ease at which you traveled through days and weeks. And with prolonged sadness, it’s good to acknowledge you are in a season of grieving. Grieving what you once had and lost. And when grieving continues over a longer period of time, it’s typical to feel depressed. Greif and loss show up in the form of depression. It doesn’t mean the depression will stay or that you need to be scared of it, just acknowledge how you feel and that you are in a season of transition and normalize the feelings to yourself. Remember, you are in the weeks, months or years of awkward emotional space where you have cut ties with what you knew and have not quiet settled into what is new.
Anxiety and Stress
New experiences, new people, new places, new things all tend to invoke varying degrees of anxiety in all of us. Anxiety is very natural response when we are faced with uncertainty and stress. Anxiety may propel us to action when it comes to making decisions or being alert to what is going on around us. But it may also hinder us and essentially make us freeze up or become overwhelmed. Work to notice, acknowledge and then name when you are feeling anxious. Write out or journal your thoughts surrounding the anxiety. Then, ask yourself if you are using your anxiety to your advantage to propel you forward, or is it standing in your way.
Guilt
Guilt is another emotion that is common in transitions. We experience guilt over the things we left behind, the people we left behind and the lack of ability to maintain was used to be. Feeling guilt is typical, try saying out loud what you are feeling guilty about and put words to it. Don’t allow it to just run under the surface untouched.
The important thing is to acknowledge that you are having them and not fight the fact that you are experiencing them. This is because experiencing emotions is inherent to going through change, and more fundamentally, to the human experience. Fighting having emotions is not a good long-term strategy. What else can you do with the emotions you feeling? Talk to a trusted person as to not shoulder this alone. Distress regularly through self-care or by sticking to your typical routine surrounding food, exercise, and sleep as much as possible. It is also helpful to do something unrelated to the stress you are experiencing by doing something you enjoy.
Again remember, you are in the weeks, months or years of awkward emotional space where you have cut ties with what you knew and have not quiet settled into what is new.