In the past several weeks, I’ve learned that many of the “thoughts” I was having were actually mental compulsions. I — like many others — had always associated the disorder with compulsive behaviors like washing one’s hands, counting floor tiles, or checking to see if a door was locked. But for those with Pure OCD or Pure O (nicknames for a subset of the disorder that don’t present physical behaviors), compulsions may be “rumination, mental reviewing, avoidance, reassurance seeking, or compulsive checking,” explains Chrissie Hodges, a mental health advocate and author Pure OCD: The Invisible Side of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The way I reviewed situations to determine how I felt or recall what I did, the way I asked loved ones for definite, concrete answers, and my obsessive internet research were all anxiety-reducing behaviors. Like someone who feels the need to wash their hands in order to feel clean, I needed to do these things in order to quell my worries.

There’s one key difference between schooling in the spring and this fall: We should rely on teachers and counselors more. That’s not to say parents won’t have a major role to play as translators and messengers to teachers, who will not be able to develop as deep a relationship with our child through a screen as they would in a classroom setting.

Postpartum mental health issues are fueled not only by the hormonal turmoil that women experience but also by the emotional and practical challenges of keeping a vulnerable new human alive while operating on very, very little sleep. Having a baby during a pandemic is harder. Even if everyone in the family is healthy, it’s harder. Even if the family’s financial situation has not been damaged by layoffs, it’s harder. It takes all of the challenges of parenting a newborn — the nerves, the stress, the at-times profound loneliness — and amplifies them.

With the endless stream of urgent news pushing the boundaries of our mental health, it seems laughable to suggest optimism right now. Maybe you’re worried about losing your job, losing your home or losing a loved one. Maybe you already have. Maybe you’re worried about your own health, and maybe you feel helpless or doomed. Whatever it is, optimism feels like a luxury that few of us can afford.

We talk about why pregnancy after loss can be so incredibly difficult, the common emotions associated with pregnancy after loss, how grief and stress can affect a pregnancy and what steps we can take to deal with the grief and stress in a healthy way. If you have experienced the loss of a baby and are pregnant again, or would like to be pregnant again, this episode is a must listen. If you have ever asked the question, when is it the right time to try to get pregnant again, this episode is for you. And if you love someone who is pregnant after the loss of a baby this episode is an absolute must — it will help you understand what she is going through in a really significant way.